Perfectly-balanced Universe

A personal universe is really the only thing each of us has. Usually, it's slightly or terribly skewed, to the left or the right or to the north or to the south. At times, it's so misaligned that it's difficult to take a step forward or even sideways. But sometimes, if you're really lucky and mindful, you realize that your personal universe suddenly has become completely balanced. And if you are totally aware of what is happening around you, and you listen and watch carefully, your intuition will tell you when it's about to happen. One event can tip another to the right and another to the south, and then suddenly, balance occurs and your personal universe is flawlessly and perfectly aligned. Just be sure to write about it, or burn it into your brain when it happens. It's remarkable, valid, and highly inspiring.

I'll Take the Poet-guy

It was different when I attended grade school in the late 60's. Mrs. Heinrichs (5th grade teacher) reminded us on February 10th to bring in a shoebox, which would be decorated with thin scarlet tissue along with as many pink contruction paper heart cutouts we could glue on. And don't forget to make a slit in that top so the Valentine's cards can be dropped in! The absolute rule was that everyone in the class had to bring a card for everyone else.

Because of this rule, my girlfriends and I always got cards from boys, an exciting and mysterious thing for 11 year old pre-pubescent females. After the cards had been slipped into the shoeboxes, it was time for the reveal. The girls would clump together in the corner with their respective shoe boxes, scrutinizing each and every envelope and its contents. Was there a hidden meaning behind the angel card from John Salisbury? Why did Mike Bensinger write his whole first and last on the back when he was the only person named Mike in the entire 5th grade? And the best surprise of all was when a girl got a card from a boy with no signature at all! All of these mysteries apparently must have meant something romantic! Or were we just little kids who were doing what the teacher asked?

What is it about February 14th? Some people intellectualize Valentine's Day by viewing it strictly as some historical battle in some long-forgotten Roman war, or they may dismiss it as a marketing ploy by Hallmark. Others romanticize the day by believing in Chaucer's love poems and in the cupids who decorate all the heart-shaped cards at the drug stores. Perhaps how we view this day depends on where we are in life, who is standing next to us (or who is not), if we feel some obligation or something else.

Obviously, we aren't in 5th grade anymore. And now that we are all grown up, we do not have decorated shoe boxes on our wooden desks, and there's no teacher to demand we give a Valentine card to every boy and girl in the class and receive one in return. We can decide to forget the silly holiday altogether, or we might choose to send Valentine greetings with total abandon to absolutely anyone we wish, whether they're lovers or friends or family.

And just because we might not receive a special romantic red envelope from some boy or girl on February 14th, isn't it just as wonderful knowing that you sent a love greeting that might make someone else feel great?

Well, almost as wonderful.

Little Darlin', Pal of Mine

Not only is that a remarkable song by Doc Watson (and Lucinda Williams and many others), it's the anthem I shout about my wonderful friends.

How I love these folks who stick by my side and want me to stick by their side (some for decades) through so many trials and pleasures, who make the time and expend the energy, who call knowing I will answer (and answer my calls even in the wee-hours), who listen and really hear, who spill, who talk about nothing or something, who debate and share, who let loose and judge, who aren't afraid to expose all of the fabulousness and ugliness that makes us who we are.

I think you know who you are, and you are little darlins' and pals of mine.

What Can You Do With Snow?

Write your name in it, check it every hour to see it magically pile up on the porch, watch it implode and turn yellow when the dog pees on it, pack it in a cup with milk and brown sugar, catch it on your tongue as it's falling, laugh at it when it shuts an entire city down, photograph it, miss it when it melts.

Self-Estimation

What makes a person arrogant? Money, power, beauty, fame? Sometimes none of these.

Arrogance is conceit -- a self-aggrandizement of the worth a person feels about her/himself and a pretention that their own thoughts, needs, beliefs or stature somehow are superior in quality to anyone else's. Arrogance and egocentrism go hand in hand, therefore the person who has both of these unfortunate qualities cannot even begin consciously to realize how they appear to others. Ultimately, the arrogant person's undue degree of self-importance results in a feeling of pity (not jealousy) from those witnesses who stick around long enough to form an opinion.

People who worship only themselves eventually get a hard, matte-finished look, like cold marble statues. And observers tend to visit them only once.

Scented Wind

I don't have any pine trees in my backyard, but the breeze coming into the open window smells like pure pine sap and needles. It smells like late winter.

25 Random Things about Me

This silly e-mail arrived asking me to list 25 random things about me. But I did it anyway....

1. I get up ridiculously early every morning, and can't stay in bed when there's a moon and pre-dawn stars to see
2. I have a gray streak in my hair like Bonnie Raitt, but I'd rather have her talent
3. I am so lucky to have the most wonderful, longtime girlfriends ever (Jane, Naomi, Lisa, Laura & Lee), plus two fine sisters
4. I am afraid to get on an airplane. Perhaps it's because the last time a bird flew into the engine (no, really)
5. I love the owl that talks to me from outside my window nearly every day at 4:45 am. He is not a boring even-toned hoot-hooter, more like a RHEE-hoo crooner.
6. I hate heels higher than 2" (or taller than 5' 11")
7. My favorite candy: Hot Tamales and Heath bars
8. If people don't swear, don't love music or don't like dogs, I don't trust them.
9. My favorite smells in the whole wide world are: campfire smoke, sawdust, pipe tobacco, coffee
10. I love the fact that Southern men call women Darlin'& Baby, open car doors and hold the umbrella
11. I miss my father even after 23 years, and wish I had a recording of his voice.
12. The only thing I miss about Michigan: my kids, my sisters and my big dog, Johnny
13. I always wear shoes, even in my house (but the heels are less than 2")
14. I always drive with my window open and my arm out, unless it's below 34 degrees.
15. I watch closely how people physically talk: how their lips and tongue move when they speak, if and why they have a lisp, if they make a repeated facial gesture, if they show their teeth or not.
16. My dream job would be working for Matt Groening, Jon Stewart or Tex Avery.
17. My motto for this year is "be brave" and "never say never."
18. I never recycle (see #17)
19. I visualize a broken heart fixing itself by patching the cracks with gold. Then it's easy to remember how shiny and strong it is. And how much it's worth, and worth showing.
20. I collect scarves and antique satin slips
21. I realize now how lucky I am that my childhood was safe and happy, and that growing up on a dirt road in east jesus nowhere had many more pluses than minuses
22. The middle finger on my left hand has always been curved outward. This causes a split between my fingers when I hold my hand out to reach for change and the dimes always slip through. But I can do Spock's Vulcan greeting with ease....
23. Diet quinine water and prune juice make a very good spritzer
24. I think music is a balm and appropriate for any situation whatsoever
25. I am conceited about my red hair.

The Owl is Talking

Sure enough, the owl was talking again this morning around 5:15 a.m. Even Charlotte hears it, and she and I stare at each other and listen. When I crack open the dining-room window, the owl is the only thing making any noise in the entire city: no traffic, no sirens, no dogs barking. The owl didn't have much to say on this cold morning, but he came through loud and clear for 15 glorious minutes.

Songs you have probably never heard, but should

"Lover's Prayer" by Gillian Welsh -- lovely and romantic http://www.last.fm/music/Gillian+Welch/_/I+Made+A+Lovers+Prayer

"Feeling Good" by Nina Simone -- a fabulous personal anthem
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6xtaa_feeling-good-nina-simone_music

"Who Knows" by Marion Black -- should've become a household name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZF_ZItsh6o

"Good Morning Little School Girl" by Muddy Waters -- the right mixture of steam & blues
http://www.last.fm/music/Muddy+Waters/_/Good+Morning+Little+Schoolgirl?autostart

"Now at Last I Know" by Feist -- thought-provoking, buttery-voiced & sad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1bM_7kW0fk

"These Arms of Mine" by Otis Redding -- get out the tissues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pVWBKqFFLw

"Real Love" by Lucinda Williams -- cupid's arrow has landed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oPgZoXZ1Z0

"You Sure Look Swell" by Sondre Lerche -- slow dance to this, sweetly
http://www.last.fm/music/Sondre+Lerche/_/You+Sure+Look+Swell?autostart

I'm Feeling the Clarity!

Was it a full moon? A change in atmospheric pressure? Something whispering into my ear as I slept? I don't know, but I woke up at my usual 5:17 am on January 5th and something was different. Decisions about which I had been waffling were instantly already made; a clear vision of what I want in 2009 was in my head; and I swear the pre-dawn stars were winking at me. All this before my first cup of coffee! How does sudden awareness and absolute clarity just decide to show up? I didn't do anything new or unusual the day before: no change in my herbal tea brand, no sudden flash of insight, no new haircut, no booming voices from on high.

Whatever the hell caused it, I am thrilled at its surprise arrival and plan to work hard to keep it from leaving. woo hoo!

My Favorite Colloquialisms

I love the way people talk. I love their accents, the way their lips and tongue move when they are forming sounds, the words they say and what's behind the meaning of those words. Colloquial speech is especially remarkable. As a former midwesterner, a current southerner and evidently a linguist in a former life, here are a few of my favorites:

"That smells really loud." Meaning, that has a really strong smell. (North Carolina)

"Searcy." A friendly little gift given for no reason at all. (North and South Carolina, Alabama)

"The Devil is beating his wife." Said when it's raining and the sun is shining simultaneously (North Carolina)

"A Red Bic Lighter." This is terribly bad luck to have and must be disposed of immediately. (Wisconsin)

"How you gonna show?" Meaning, what are you going to do in this situation? (Northern Ohio)

"Don't send a boy...." (to do a man's job). Used to describe when someone is unqualified to do a particular task. (Michigan)

"Szepicsam" (tzay-peecham). If you ask a Hungarian-speaking woman very sweetly, perhaps she'll tell you what it means. And if you're really lucky, she might show you.

"Plumnilly." Meaning, right in between. (North Carolina)

"Tsotski". (chaaats-kee). Meaning, those crappy, dusty brik-a-brak things that covered every shelf in your grandmother's house. (New York City).

"Pa-diddle". What you must say when you see a car on the highway coming toward you with only one headlight. (Michigan)

Initial Thoughts

Wow! I have slid into the 21st century.