Missed Connections

Craigslist calls itself a website for "classified ads for jobs, apartments, personals, for sale, community and events". I read it several times a week, and have recently stumbled across an interesting local subsection entitled "missed connections." This, apparently, is a place where folks can write a message and try to connect with someone they met, or saw, or knew in the past.

Some posts are short and to the point: "you were my blond waitress last night at Denny's. You are so beautiful." or "to the girl with the throat tattoo: last night on the street, we held each others gaze for 30 seconds and I wanted to say something but I didn't."

These little posts make me wonder: why didn't the restaurant customer just compliment the waitress in person? Why didn't the other guy stop and talk to the tattoo woman when he had the chance?

Other posts are long, rambling diatribes about lost-loves. One man has written many poetic posts giving clues about a woman he knew in the past, still loves and wants to marry. He intentionally leaves out her name, physical attributes or where she lives, and invites any woman to respond to see if she is whom he seeks. The responses are often: "Is it me? petite, brunette, 36?" or "too bad it's not me. You sound wonderful." So far, all the hopeful respondees are not "the one". Does this man really have a lost love somewhere, or is he just trying to briefly connect with anyone who will respond?

I find this way of "connecting" interesting. Is sending a Craigslist post out into the internet world really a way of connecting? Does the anonymity aspect bring
courage to the postee who would otherwise be fearful? Maybe those initial brief connections were supposed to only be brief, since even a short-lived connection can be succinct, complete and meaningful.

Perhaps many people have a fear of connecting, even briefly, with not only strangers but loved ones. Or they only have enough courage to hold a gaze for 30 seconds instead of for a full minute. Or for a life-time. We have the opportunity to connect with others every single day: we can exchange smiles and small talk with strangers, wave to a neighbor, or tell someone for the first or the millionth time that we love them.

I'd like to send my own message to those Craigslist postees and respondees in a way they will understand (via my computer!): turn off your Mac, leave your lonely livingroom, get out into the world and connect.

See you out there.